Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
