ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
