her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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