it wasn't lemon gatorade
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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