my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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