yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize