ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize