Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize