But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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