I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
