the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
