is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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