Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize