Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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