i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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