I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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