Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
