So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize