i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
vagina is talking i cant
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
