You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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