We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
