I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
