You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
