i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
