the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
