i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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