omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
