Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
