Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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