She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i drank out of a bidet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
