haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
