all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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