The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
