My brain says no but my pants say off.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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