i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Pants are for mortals
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
