I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i love accidental penises.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I understand Curling. That high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
