I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize