did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
