I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
