i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
