its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
