We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize