what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
