To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
