actually, I'm a sock model
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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