My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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