That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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