I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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