just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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