ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
