Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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