I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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