is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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