I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
