im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
