There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
