brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
look no pants
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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