He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
